Happy Edan

Edan is happy to be home.

Feeding Edan

Bonnie and Edan were spending time learing how to breast feed. It has been such a beautiful sight to behold.

Home in mom's arms

New Born Edan didn't like his picture being taken. We were so glad that he was home at last. It will be a life changing adjustment for Bonnie and Jiho now that Edan has been born. As a matter of fact, all of our lives will be changed. Denise and I are now grandparents and Jiho and Bonnie are now parents.

Celeste Earns Coach's Award

The Celestial Being earned the Coach's Award in gymnastics last night. Wow, was she ever surprised!! She got it for trying so darn hard. She was an inspiration to the other girls. She made me cry. But what is a proud papa to do?

Beautiful Dream

I woke up crying on Saturday morning. I was having a very vivid dream. I had been swimming in a public swimming pool. After I got out of the water, I went to the locker room. As I went around the corner, I found myself in a hospital. There was a door on my left that led into Bonnie’s room. I was going to go in, but I stopped myself because I didn't want to crash in on Bonnie & Jiho if they were making love. I saw a doctor, who was carrying any infant, walk across the hallway and enter Bonnie’s room. I followed him. Bonnie and Jiho were laying in separate gurneys along the wall. I woke Jiho up. He sat up. He had a dark tan. Then I went to Bonnie. As I was about to wake Bonnie up, the doctor looked at me and handed me the baby saying, "Here's your grandson." He was so beautiful, and so tan. I began to cry. I was so happy holding him. The crying woke me up. Bummer, I was having a good time holding Tiger in my dream.

I Awoke This Morning to the...

Valentine's Day is almost here. I wrote this poem for Denise more than 30 years ago.

I awoke this morning
To the soft touch of sweeping branches in the wind,
To the gentle pitter patter of rain drops on my face,
To the warm rays of the sun
smiling ever so lovingly, down upon me.
And when I opened my eyes, I saw
Not to the soft touch of sweeping branches
Nor the sight of rainy days
Pierced with the sun's shiny rays.
Rather, I awoke this morning
To my Love's soft fingers stroking my side
To my Lady's tender lips sweetly kissing my face
To my Mate's beautiful blue eyes smiling lovingly at me.
I awoke this morning
To the magic of my Soul Mate's love.

It Snowed!!!

Wow! It snowed gifting us with a

cool soft cloud of snow over

Misty Meadows. Kimchee, our

Korean canine, was having so

much fun playing in the icy

wonderland,

Candy canes in our first snow 

Kimchee's first American Snowfall. She had so much fun playing in the snow. 

Celeste gets her diving letter!!! 

Celeste gets her letter for diving!!!

Celeste got her letter for diving at the Swim/Dive Awards banquet!!! She was so surprised. She received the Most Devoted Diver award and the Diving Captian's plaque.
We are so proud of her!!!
Way to Go!!! Celeste!!!

Vista & Mushroom on Halloween  

Jeremy died on 23 October 1992

My Sister called me this evening. She said that she did not know why, but she felt compelled to call. She had forgotten what the date was. She forgets every year. Why should she want to remember such a painful day? Even though her memory blocks the date, her heart refuses. Thus, without consciously know why, she calls me every 23rd of October. She calls me on the day that Jeremy died, in 1992.
He haunts us. Not in a bad, way, mind you. Just in such a way, that my sister, having forgotten what day it is, feels compelled to call her big brother.
We consoled each other. We laughed at stories about Jeremy. We laughed at stories about our dead parents. Dead people offer so many good stories. It is like finding chocolate behind a box of cereal, when no one else is around except for your sister. So you both eat it all, gleefully delighting in your loot. And still, I would gladly give up those dead people stories, for live people stories.
A friend at work reminded me that in order to mourn, you must have loved the dead person. She is right. And death still sucks.
My son’s death still bites far too deeply. And yet, I can laugh at stories of his life.
Thanks Jeremy, for your life, for your laughter, for all that you have gifted me. I miss you. Come and visit me. Maybe we can play tag again.

Gabriella B. Muelher-Roosevelt

Gabriella Lived Life to the Max!!!

Gabriella B. Muelher-Roosevelt

Gabriella, our very dear friend, died on the 17th of October 2005. Tears flow and a lump swells in my throat as I realize that she won't come buzzing by on her motorcycle anymore. Denise and I loved this fellow bereaved parent. We consoled each other as we grieved for our dead sons.
Gabriella was a free spirit, a biker, intent on squeezing as much out of life as humanly possible. And she had a beaultiful and delicate side that she shared with us. She had a smile that said, " I have a secret about life and I know that you know it too. Come on, let's go out and really live."
She was a high energy, full of love, full of excitement, working with heart to help heal those in pain, working hard to make the world a better place.
My heart cries and laughs as I think of Gabriella. She was an angel who walked among us.

Denise and I will miss her very much.

The Celestial Being is so beautiful just before her Homecoming Dance 

Daddy & daughter prior to Homecoming Dance 

Bonnie, Tara, Lisa & Sara smiling at Bonnie's Baby Shower 

Celeste & Bonnie before the Homecoming dance 

Coyote and prisoner at GSA Halloween party. The Coyote Mask has its own magic. 

Dragon Boats return after the race. 

Celeste gets ready as the Caller of her Dragon Boat Team 

Celeste was the Caller for her Dragon Boat team. There were teams from Canada, Oregon and Washington. She went to practice with her friend, Crystal, after school and at the beginning of the summer. It was a cool typical Seattle gray summer day at the start of the races. By late afternoon, Summer prevailed and it was warm. There was a blind team. Only the caller and tillerman were sighted. As they were leaving their waiting area to go to the dragon boats, I heard the tillerman ask for directions to the boats. He was told to follow Fred, to which he exclaimed, What!?!? Am I suppose to follow a blind man?" I had to laugh. It was an excited, fun filled day on the lake.

Eggs & Bacon with Hashbrowns and Bacon bathing suits for Vicka and Julia crocheted with love by Mushroom 

50 year old John, strums his new washboard tie birthday present from Sara. 

John's 50th Birthday Party

HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY, JOHN
My little brother, John, turned 50. Imagine that. He has aged well, filling his life with fun, hilarity, and a hunger for learning and experiencing new things. Winnie started planning his party months and months ago. Our main task was: Do Not Let John Discover the Party. This was no easy task.
I called John to tell him that I was going to be in Long Beach in the middle of August. That was a true statement. I just did not tell him that I was going to be there for his surprise birthday party. Winnie feigned backaches a few days prior to the party and told John to go take a hike (with Dana on the day of the party). I told Dana that he could just be very late to start his hike with John.
True to Montoya fashion not one person was on time. Not one. Not even me. Dana was supposed to have gotten John to the park by 11:30. Had he been on time, he would have been surprised, alright, because no one was there yet. Jazz was the first one there. She was soon followed by the others. We all quickly decorated the gazebo. Winnie called Dana and told that we were ready.
John and Dana walked toward the pond and as they came over a knoll we all jumped up at said “SURPRISE! ! !” John saw me and said, “You lied.” Then he looked at Sara and said, “You lied.” It turns out that many of us did what was necessary to keep John in the dark.

To everyone’s delight, John climbed a tree to the top and the nephews, Anthony & Joseph, tried to throw water on Tree Top John. Later, John wrestled Anthony to the ground. Then he suffered the teasing that a 50 year old could pin down a 19 year old.
The food was great, the party was fun. The helium balloons soon became water balloons.

We all had a great time. Wish you had been there.

John tries to blow out 50 candles. 

MRJRM Enjoying John's 50th Birthday Party 

Brilliance

I have discovered a new brilliance within myself, well, actually ON myself. Many of you have extolled the charm of my "glowing" personality. I have discovered a way to make my "halo" manifest itself physically, such that I can put it to practical use. I excitedly told my beloved about my "brilliant" discovery, but to my dismay, she pooh poohed my exuberance. I made the humble request that she follow me down, slowly, step by step, into the depths of our basement. She acquiesced. Our basement is illuminated with two spot lights. Such lighting is dismal. I stood before the pantry shelves, with my head just in front of the spot light. I asked my beloved to watch the products on the shelves as I moved my head back slightly behind the light fixture. To her utter surprise and amazement, she burst out laughing as the light reflected off my shiny head and illuminated all of the shelves. Her hysterical laughter tripped her as she attempted to walk up the stairs. My "brilliance" kept her laughing so hard that she nearly fell out of her chair once she had poured herself back into it. By now my litter of children were transfixed by my beloved's laughter and they just had to see for themselves. They queried of themselves, "What could Papa have done to put Mama is such a jocular mood?" So as to educate my charges in the ways of physical comedy, I introduced them, as well, to my new found brilliance. Celeste laughed so hard, we thought she might pee in her pants.

Love Mushroom, the Brilliant

Derek And Tasha's Wedding 18 June 2005 

This is Denise on her 55th birthday (17 June 2005) Isn't she beautiful!!! I am so lucky to have her in my life. 

Benjamin & Victoria after the vows 

Benjamin & Victoria 

Benjamin & Victoria's Wedding

Last weekend I was the Celebrant for a Vickie and Ben's wedding. They are delightful neighbors who live two doors down. They prayed for sunshine and got it. We had rain throughout the day and did not need anymore. Their wedding was held at Lakewold Gardens in Lakewood. It was a beautiful outdoor garden setting. As the wedding began, the clouds danced a circle opening allowing the sun's rays to shine through and onto the wedding couple and guests. I walked down the stone walkway from the house to a special gazebo made just for the wedding. I was followed by the mothers, fathers, gentlemen and ladies of honor and finally the groom. When the groom arrived at the gazebo I followed him as he proceeded to unveil the gazebo, thus revealing the treasure of his bride within. It was very romantic and touching.

Do you remember the wedding scene in the movie, 'The Princess Bride'? The bishop doing the wedding had a speech impediment. Well, I started the ceremony by copying the bishop's word, speech impediment and all.

The bride and groom were pleased and there were many laughs and chuckles. After a few lines and a few chuckles, I bent down to pick up the "real" ceremony, by saying, "oops, wrong script."

We crafted the ceremony together. It was a ceremony marked with personal symbolism for the couple. When they first met, they were both enthusiastic about “The Princess Bride” They both had several copies. The gazebo was a symbolic jewel box. The mothers and the sisters of the bride and groom were in the ceremony adding a welcoming family component to the wedding.
I saw them driving out of the neighborhood this afternoon. They looked deliriously happy in love.

You are only as old as you wish to be

You are only as old as you wish to be. While we were attending a wedding in California, I visited some cousins, who have been married for 73 years. That puts them into their 90s. They are so much younger than so many people that I know. I remember being in the second grade and thinking that the girls who were in the 6th grade were already grown up. I have friends who are flabbergasted when I tell them that Jeremy would have been 35 years old this year. They can't believe I am old enough to have a 35 year old son. I currently look the age of someone who has kids in high school now. When Jeremy was in High school I thought that so many of the high school parents looked so old. I choose to be ageless, not too young and not too old. I choose to be the grandest version of myself. Last weekend I performed a wedding in a beautiful garden South of Tacoma. All generations were present. I conversed and fit in with all. In a manner of speaking, I am no age. Neither are you. Every now and then I see a photo of myself taken in an earlier time and I think, ‘I appear different now.’
I am amazed by how the senior folks are obsessed with not being nor looking like who they are. We have finally become the elders of our society and we run in fear and try to disguise ourselves to look not our rightful part. Why aren't we celebrating our crone aspect? We earned our way here through trials and tribulations, through far too few celebrations of our life's passages. Damn the torpedoes of feared aging. I am going to celebrate the very fact that I am still here and I made it this far, garnering some wisdom along the way. I have learned and earned so much. I have learned and earned compassion. And that has helped to love who I am. I cannot not give what I do not have. I have more than enough love and compassion to share over and over with whomever needs it. I have learned to play games with Celeste and let the dishes wait. My priority is family and friends and nurturing their love and respect. I have learned that what others say about me is none of my business. If I am true to myself, then only what I think of myself is what truly matters. I have learned that crying in public can be a good thing. It gives persmission for others to cry if they need to. I have learned that sharing a smile warms even the coldest hearts. I could go on and on. But you get the point.
I am grateful for all the people who have come into my life. For they have taught me much and given me amazing gifts, some of which they were not aware they were giving.
Now, go out and celebrate your rightful position in society and share the gift of yourself and that wonderful smile of yours.
Love Mushroom

Sydney poses with the other mascots 

Sydney poses with the Race Volunteers 

Denise as Sydney Kidney at the Race for a Cure with the other mascots 

Death brought its gifts

Death brought its gifts through Denise and me. I never really thought of Death as a giver of gifts, and yet, Death brought its gifts today.
Denise was the guest Speaker at a "Grief" class at Highline College. As she retold the story of Jeremy's death, the whole class became so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I am so proud of her.
As for me, I was filmed for a special video commercial on donating blood. But, the trick is I had to deliver my request in Spanish. Although Spanish was my first language, I haven't spoken it for FIFTY (50) years. I was surprised by how well I did. My openig line in the film is, "La sangre de tu cuerpo es la sangre de la vida, proque la sangre es la vida." The blood in your body is the blood of life because blood is life.
I made two grown men cry when I told them the story of putting my head on Robert's chest and listening to my son's heart beating so strongly inside. Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. But these are good tears, mixed with a little grief laden sadness. Our son gifted us with compassion. What a marvelous gift that is. Gracias, mi hijo, Jeremy.

Riding the waves

These are photos I took as the water came over us at 80 feet above the water line. That is as tall as a 7 story building! What a thrill ride that was!!!