Aunt Lucy's Christmas Eve Secret

Not all sad and tragic Xmas stories end on a sad note.

In the early 1950s my Uncle Carlos was driving home in the snow from a Christmas Eve party. He drove off the road and into a parked bulldozer. Aunt Lucy was holding their baby, Margarita, in her lap. The baby died. I remember the little white coffin that they placed baby Margarita into. My cousins were in casts and stitches. It was a very sad Xmas.

Forty years later, our own son died. During our son’s funeral, Aunt Lucy pulled Denise and me aside. “I have a secret to tell you,” she said while holding our hands. “You know how I would forbid everyone from entering my kitchen on Christmas eve while I spend the day baking cookies and other Xmas treats.”

“Yes,” I said. “We all love the aroma of your kitchen on Christmas eve. And we love what you bake. You are the best cook in the family.”

Aunt Lucy squeezed my hand and shook her head. “People think I bake and cry every Christmas ever because I love this time of year. But that’s not true. I cry because my daughter died on Christmas eve. I grieve for her every year. And yet, it is not so bad. Because I can bake and make everyone happy and they helps me, too.”

Aunt Lucy’s words stunned me. Our son died about 8 weeks earlier. Grief squeezed its burning tentacles around my heart. Would I be hurting like this for the next 40 years?

The following Xmas was overwhelmingly sad. I walked the shopping malls, by myself, trying to find presents for Denise. I dragged my smile-less face behind me as I trudged down the store aisles. I left several times empty handed. I ended up buying Denise everything on her list on Xmas Eve that year.

Time heals. It didn’t take long to understand better what Aunt Lucy was telling us. Yes, we will continue to grieve, but, when we give of ourselves, the grief diminishes and life gets brighter. Yes, there is an empty spot under the Xmas tree. And although we may place a few tears in that spot every year, we can smile knowing that his organs allowed four other families to enjoy more Xmas’s with their loved ones. His death, although tragic for us, has brought us other gifts as well, some continue to unfold.

The Blessing of the Dark Side

“You don’t know the power of the Dark Side,” Darth Vader said.

We tend to associate evil with the Dark Side. But that is a far too limited view.

The winter solstice has arrived. We are emerging out of the darkness and into the light. Although the days are getting longer, the dark nights still prevail. Take this opportunity to go to your own Dark Side and expose it to your own inner light. We are human and therefore dualistic. We sometimes become who we are NOT in order to evolve into who we are becoming. We have done things that we are sorry for, that we regret; things that are unkind, mean and cruel. And we have learned that those actions have not been beneficial to us. 

Bring your past Dark actions into the new emerging light and ask yourself. "What have I learned from these?" Write them down. Create your own ceremony in which you take what you've written and offer them to the new light of the fire and emerging season. As your past Dark actions burn, forgive yourself and know that even those dark actions have helped you evolve.

There is a great healing power in self forgiveness. When we forgive ourselves we can more readily see the divinity and the marvel that we really are. And then we are more easily able to be  better humans. 

Next write down the type of person you are hoping to evolve into and the personal qualities that you want to increase and offer those to the emerging season and the fire as well. Invite loved ones to join you in this ceremony to make it more powerful.

Sacred Moment - Synchronicity - Little Bird

Sacred Moment

Synchronicity

Little Bird

I looked up at the clear blue expanse of sky this morning as I swam a modified back stroke in the outdoor university pool. I thanked Father Sky for protecting Mother Earth and for bringing us the Sun, the Moon, the Stars, the Clouds, the Rain, and the wind. I thanked the winged creatures for their gifts.

After I got home and took a shower, I opened my earring box. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and asked my helping spirits, “Who will I represent today?” I put my hand into the box and pulled out my metal feather earring. I thanked my winged helping spirits as I put the earring on.

Our dog stood by the front door barking, as I walked down the stairs. I went to the front door to see what made Ginger bark. I saw Denise crouching near the ground, under the camellia tree, holding something in her hand. I opened the front door and stepped out. She turned her head very slowly. “I have a bird,” she whispered. She told me that the bird had crashed into our glass front door. 

I stood behind her and shape-shifted into something less frightening than a human. I called on Mother Earth to move through me to bring healing to the little winged creature in Denise’s hand. Denise took great care in standing up and moving into the sunshine. She sat down on the grass. I walked slowly and stood next to her. I drew healing energy from Mother Earth through me and directed it to the little gray bundle in Denise’s hand.

The little brownish gray bird blinked. The top of his head sported a brushstroke of reddish brown. His wings glistened with a splash of iridescent green on their sides. He turned his head to the left to look at Denise and then lifted it higher to look at me. He turned his head to the right and stared at Denise and then at me. He blinked again a few more times. He seemed content to sit and get his bearings.

I continued to hold sacred space while feeding healing energy from Mother Earth to the little winged creature. The sun warmed our backs. Denise moved her hand into the sunshine. The bird’s colorful highlights shone more clearly. The little bird opened his beak, turned his head back and forth, and attempted to move its wings. It rested a moment and then he flew into the nearby hedge under our elm tree.

I wished the little winged earthling well. I thanked the helping spirits. Denise stood up and gave me a heartfelt gaze with her beautiful blue eyes.

“That was a sacred moment,” she said.

How are YOU going to save the world?

 

I am often gladdened by their response. Most are aware that they are responsible for saving the world in whatever way they can. Most tell me the little things that they are already doing. That gives me hope.

On Trump's Election

Shock and confusion slithered up my legs and into the pit of my stomach as I watched the election results on the TV. Disappointed sat on my chest making me want to cry when the TV announcer said that Hillary had conceded.
Did more than half of my fellow Americans really elect Trump, a man who spews hate and bigotry?

The fire of hate and bigotry needs negative fuel. I shall not feed it. 

I went to bed bewildered, worrying about the future, about what will happen to my fellow earthlings if Trump follows through with what he has campaigned to do. 

Worry and fear woke me in the middle of the night. We battled. They wore me out and I fell back into a restless sleep. Chirping birds, blue sky and warm sunshine woke me up. "Only now exists," they said in unison. "Be love. Be compassion. Feed your dream of a loving and diverse humanity. Radiate joy in our diverse humanity. Boldly step into being the ONES we have been waiting for."