Monday, October 28, 2019

No One Should See


I hope no one

Is watching me,

No one should see

Pain stained tears

Sneaking out

From my eyes.

No should see

The ICU,

The coffin,

His ashes

Floating out to sea.

I'm hidden in a closet

Of my own making.

No one should see

The reams of paper

Each page starting

With if I had only,

If I would've,

If I had not.

No one should see

The boxes of reams

I've hidden in my closet.

I hope no one

Is watching me.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Terror Hiding In the Phone


A terror hides in the phone,

Hanging on the kitchen wall,

Ringing over and over,

Until I  pick up the receiver.

A haunting voice speaks,

"Hello, this is the hospital.."

That voice kicks my head

Stands on my chest,

And bangs my head.

"Your son has been in a motorcycle accident"

Repeats over and over,

In my head, 
While I listen.

While I try to listen.

While I try to undo

What I'm listening to.

"May we have permission

To treat him?

He's had a severe head injury.

May we have permission

To treat him?"

Terror wraps its thorny tail

Around my chest.

"We'll call back

When the doctor knows More."

There's more?

What more?

What?

Terror scratches a whisper,

"They don't know

But there is more."

"Your son has been in a motorcycle accident"

Repeats over and over,

In my head.

I want to go.

Go to our son.

Go protect our son.

Go save our son.

Make sure he's cared for.

Make sure he'll be fine.

I stare at the terror

Hanging on the kitchen wall

Waiting for it to ring.

Waiting, praying, begging

For the voice,

The doctor's voice,

To squash the terror,

And say our son is fine.

A terror hides in the phone,

Hanging on the kitchen wall.

I wait, staring at the terror

Knowing it is hiding

In the phone.