Tigerboy having a ball!

THREE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

I have been asking people to answer a few questions. 
There are no wrong answers because these come from
your innermost feelings at the very moment that you
answer the questions.

Who are we, really?
Why do we exist?
What is our purpose?

Please do not write down what you have been taught.  I
want to know what is in your heart at the moment you
answer the question.  It may be completely the
opposite from what you were taught to believe.  And
that is just fine.  I find that when I allow my "soul"
to have a voice, new insights emerge and my
understanding of those questions gets clarified a bit
more.
What we were taught is a model, an attempt to answer
those questions.  But what we were taught is some
else's answer, someone else's model of thier reality. 
I want to know that your answers.  Perhaps, when we
all put our answers together, our own understanding of
our own answers will spark an enhanced awareness of
who are we, really, why we exist and what is our
purpose.

Don't be surprised if your answers begin to change as
you start answering these questions.
I will be answering those questions myself, for myself
and posting them.

Denise's Gardening Magic

Denise had been saying that she wanted to improve our front lawn. Since she has a green thumb, I asked Ben (our neighbor) to take out our lawn, altogether. This afforded Denise a "canvas" upon which she created a lovely growing work of art.

NW Montoya Family at the Midori Teriyaki Restaurant

The whole family visited the Jeong's at their Midori Teriyaki restaurant. Poor Jiho had to stay in Korea. He had just been promoted to Captain and thus could not take vacation.
It was so wonderful having Bonnie and Tigerboy visit us from Korea. Bonnie spoke with the Jeong family in Korean. Mr Jeong used to grow mushrooms when he was in Korea. Now he and his wife own the Midori restaurant.

Kangaroo Denise with Baby Edan

The Celestial Being was the caller for her Dragon Boat Team again this year. Bonnie and Edan (Tigerboy) were there to cheer Celeste on. Harmoni (Grandma in Korean) Denise was thrilled to play kangaroo with Edan.

Tiberboy celebrates his first 100 days

Tigerboy was over 100 days old on 11 May 2006. We took lots of photos to celebrate the event.





We visited with Rui and Dr Chuck on the way to Brett & Jessica's wedding. Dr Chuck gave Tigerboy a checkup and showed us that he was at the top of the chart for his size and weight.

Brett & Jessica's Wedding

Sunday, 25 June 2006 was a joy filled, bright sun shiney day in hot 105 degree Davis, California. Our oldest nephew (on the Ditzler side of the family) Brett married the love of his life, Jessica. Brett graduated from UC Davis with his degree in Civil Engineering a week earlier. He didn't give himself time to take a breath before having their wedding. Ah, youth has endless energy.
I was the honored Celebrant for their wedding. It is so awesome watching a couple morph from two stressed and slightly worried people into very happy and delighted newlyweds. And I had the best view in the house!
Denise was asked to be their photographer. Poor Denise was working very hard while taking the best photos in the 105 degree heat and very happy bright sunshine.
Now that Brett and Jessica are married, they will have the opportunity to discover the wonder that is deep inside each of them. They will give each other the opportunity to express the grandest versions of themselves.
Denise and I are very proud of them and we wish them the best that life has to offer.

RE-BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR TRANSPLANT RECIPIENTS

The RE-BIRTHDAY party for organ transplant recipients was sponsored by The Transplant Recipient International Organization (TRIO) on 6 May. Denise and I celebrated with some incredible people. We shared a table with a young man and his kidney donor. He had switched job locations and soon afterwards, became ill. His kidneys failed. One of his new co-workers donated one of her kidneys. What a marvelous gift she gave. She gave him a new life. She is awesome. Each person at the re-birthday party was given the opportunity to tell a little about themselves. There were folks who received kidneys, hearts, livers and lungs. It is so amazing to be in a room filled with people who, were it for not for organ transplantation, would be dead. Their stories told of their courageous journeys and how their families overcame the horrible fear that impending death deals out to those who approach him so closely.

When it was my turn to speak, I told them about our son, Jeremy’s, organ donation. And how magically heart warming it was to listen to Jeremy’s heart beating inside Robert’s chest. I was starting to choke up, and I noticed that I brought nearly everyone to tears. Now that I think back on that event, I wonder why I felt good making everyone cry. ;-) It is because they share my grief and thus lighten my load a little. I am not alone in my grief and seeing the transplant recipients so happy and so alive brightens the silver lining around the dark cloud of Jeremy’s death. Each day brings its gifts and opportunities for noticing them. I try to stay awake to those opportunities to receive the gifts that life brings to me.

Spring Blossoms in Misty Meadows

The Spring

Blossoms
In our

Back Yard

Are very

Beautiful

Celeste earns "Shoot for the Stars" gymnastics award from her peers!!! 

Celeste earns a letter in Gymnastics

Our Celestial Being brought pride filled tears to my eyes at the gymnastics banquet. When the coach called up the junior varsity girls, Celeste’s face revealed puzzlement and frustration. She had assumed that the coach had forgotten her. And when the coach called up the Varsity team, (those who lettered in gymnastics) and called her name, she was again puzzled. She did not know that she had earned a letter in gymnastics. Then the coach gave her a special coach's award for Great Effort. She said that this was Celeste's first year in high school gymnastics and that no one had put in more effort than Celeste. She tried very hard at everything the coach suggested that she do. But the award that brought me to pride filled tears was the Paper Plate award. The girls have a tradition that they get together (those who have been at it for more than one season) and create special awards for reasons ranging from inspiration to silliness. They gave Celeste the Shooting for the Stars award because she inspired the all of the girls by giving it her all, regardless of the odds. Ah, she inspires me.

Congratulations Celeste!!! You make me so proud to be you dad.

Have a good time

Halabaji Mushroom feeding Tiger in the Korean sunshine. Mushroom is so happy, having a good time, holding his grandson.

This is where Tiger was born. Look at the 3rd floor, far right, above the 488 and behind the agua (Korean letters). Agua in Spanish is water. Tiger was born under the sign of water. Notice, too, the orange sign that reads, "Have a good time."

Big & Little

Tiger puts his foot against his Halabaji Mushroom's foot

Edan holding onto Bonnie's hand.

Getting Ready for Tiger's Birth

The week before, Bonnie, Jiho and Denise went shopping for baby things. The day before we all went on a liesurely hike up a paved mountain train. When we finished we had lunch at a restaurant called, "MUSHROOM". Fancy that! Denise and I make a heart shape with our hands on Bonnie's tummy.
The day Edan was born we went to a scheduled doctor's appointment to check on Bonnie's progress. When they did the ultra sound, she looked like she could pop at any moment.

Bonnie's Labor

Denise and Jiho worked as a team to coach Bonnie. When a contraction would start they would count for her. I was Jiho's backup. He left shortly to get his parents when they arrived at the birthing center. When Denise and I coached Bonnie, she received the count in stereo. I played the didgeridoo to help ease the pain. I kept pace with the count. after four hours my lips with wasted. Early in the labor, albiet HARD labor, they gave Bonnie an excercise ball to bounce on and to roll on to help the labor. Dr. Choi explained the process to Bonnie.

Edan Ee Soo Yoon is BORN !!!

Edan Ee Soo Yoon is BORN !!!

He gave us a little scare because Dr Choi had to spank him several times to get him to cry. She had to clear fluid from his mouth between spankings. Then he let out such a beautiful first earth cry. We were all so happy and so thrilled.

Edan was born at 11:18 PM on 20 February 2006 in Deajon, South Korea. He is 56 cm long and weighs 3.44 Kg. (22" long, 7 lbs 9 oz)

Family photo ops with new born Edan

We were all so excited that we just coudn't wait to hold Edan in our arms and have a photo taken.

Happy Edan

Edan is happy to be home.

Feeding Edan

Bonnie and Edan were spending time learing how to breast feed. It has been such a beautiful sight to behold.

Home in mom's arms

New Born Edan didn't like his picture being taken. We were so glad that he was home at last. It will be a life changing adjustment for Bonnie and Jiho now that Edan has been born. As a matter of fact, all of our lives will be changed. Denise and I are now grandparents and Jiho and Bonnie are now parents.

Celeste Earns Coach's Award

The Celestial Being earned the Coach's Award in gymnastics last night. Wow, was she ever surprised!! She got it for trying so darn hard. She was an inspiration to the other girls. She made me cry. But what is a proud papa to do?

Beautiful Dream

I woke up crying on Saturday morning. I was having a very vivid dream. I had been swimming in a public swimming pool. After I got out of the water, I went to the locker room. As I went around the corner, I found myself in a hospital. There was a door on my left that led into Bonnie’s room. I was going to go in, but I stopped myself because I didn't want to crash in on Bonnie & Jiho if they were making love. I saw a doctor, who was carrying any infant, walk across the hallway and enter Bonnie’s room. I followed him. Bonnie and Jiho were laying in separate gurneys along the wall. I woke Jiho up. He sat up. He had a dark tan. Then I went to Bonnie. As I was about to wake Bonnie up, the doctor looked at me and handed me the baby saying, "Here's your grandson." He was so beautiful, and so tan. I began to cry. I was so happy holding him. The crying woke me up. Bummer, I was having a good time holding Tiger in my dream.

I Awoke This Morning to the...

Valentine's Day is almost here. I wrote this poem for Denise more than 30 years ago.

I awoke this morning
To the soft touch of sweeping branches in the wind,
To the gentle pitter patter of rain drops on my face,
To the warm rays of the sun
smiling ever so lovingly, down upon me.
And when I opened my eyes, I saw
Not to the soft touch of sweeping branches
Nor the sight of rainy days
Pierced with the sun's shiny rays.
Rather, I awoke this morning
To my Love's soft fingers stroking my side
To my Lady's tender lips sweetly kissing my face
To my Mate's beautiful blue eyes smiling lovingly at me.
I awoke this morning
To the magic of my Soul Mate's love.

It Snowed!!!

Wow! It snowed gifting us with a

cool soft cloud of snow over

Misty Meadows. Kimchee, our

Korean canine, was having so

much fun playing in the icy

wonderland,

Candy canes in our first snow 

Kimchee's first American Snowfall. She had so much fun playing in the snow. 

Celeste gets her diving letter!!! 

Celeste gets her letter for diving!!!

Celeste got her letter for diving at the Swim/Dive Awards banquet!!! She was so surprised. She received the Most Devoted Diver award and the Diving Captian's plaque.
We are so proud of her!!!
Way to Go!!! Celeste!!!

Vista & Mushroom on Halloween  

Jeremy died on 23 October 1992

My Sister called me this evening. She said that she did not know why, but she felt compelled to call. She had forgotten what the date was. She forgets every year. Why should she want to remember such a painful day? Even though her memory blocks the date, her heart refuses. Thus, without consciously know why, she calls me every 23rd of October. She calls me on the day that Jeremy died, in 1992.
He haunts us. Not in a bad, way, mind you. Just in such a way, that my sister, having forgotten what day it is, feels compelled to call her big brother.
We consoled each other. We laughed at stories about Jeremy. We laughed at stories about our dead parents. Dead people offer so many good stories. It is like finding chocolate behind a box of cereal, when no one else is around except for your sister. So you both eat it all, gleefully delighting in your loot. And still, I would gladly give up those dead people stories, for live people stories.
A friend at work reminded me that in order to mourn, you must have loved the dead person. She is right. And death still sucks.
My son’s death still bites far too deeply. And yet, I can laugh at stories of his life.
Thanks Jeremy, for your life, for your laughter, for all that you have gifted me. I miss you. Come and visit me. Maybe we can play tag again.

Gabriella B. Muelher-Roosevelt

Gabriella Lived Life to the Max!!!

Gabriella B. Muelher-Roosevelt

Gabriella, our very dear friend, died on the 17th of October 2005. Tears flow and a lump swells in my throat as I realize that she won't come buzzing by on her motorcycle anymore. Denise and I loved this fellow bereaved parent. We consoled each other as we grieved for our dead sons.
Gabriella was a free spirit, a biker, intent on squeezing as much out of life as humanly possible. And she had a beaultiful and delicate side that she shared with us. She had a smile that said, " I have a secret about life and I know that you know it too. Come on, let's go out and really live."
She was a high energy, full of love, full of excitement, working with heart to help heal those in pain, working hard to make the world a better place.
My heart cries and laughs as I think of Gabriella. She was an angel who walked among us.

Denise and I will miss her very much.

The Celestial Being is so beautiful just before her Homecoming Dance 

Daddy & daughter prior to Homecoming Dance 

Bonnie, Tara, Lisa & Sara smiling at Bonnie's Baby Shower 

Celeste & Bonnie before the Homecoming dance