Easter Mass When I Was Six

     My parents took my two-year-old brother and me downtown Albuquerque, to the Sears department store to buy new Easter clothes. My mother held my little brother’s hand so he wouldn’t grab things off the shelves. He tried several times but she always pulled him away.

        My mother pulled some black pants off a shelf and told my dad to watch my brother while she took me into the dressing room. I could hear my dad threaten to spank my little brother. He must’ve tried to run away from my dad. The pants were too long. My mother pulled the cuffs inside and then she put her hand in my waist. “I can sew these pants to make them fit you for now and then I can let them out as you grow.” She never bought me new clothes that fit. They were always too big.

When we got home, she sewed my new “dress up” pants and a “dress up” shirt to wear to church on Easter Sunday, and every Sunday after that. It was not only traditional, but it was also expected. People acted as if Jesus would be upset, coming out of the tomb, and seeing children dressed in anything other than brand new Easter clothes. I didn't like receiving new “too big”  dress up Easter clothes because I knew that meant I wouldn’t be getting any toys until Xmas. And that felt like forever.

Easter Mass was always a high Mass. I didn’t like going to a high Mass because we would be in church for a long, long, long time. The adults would be doing a lot of kneeling and standing, and I couldn’t remember when we were supposed to kneel or stand. I was too little to see anything. The people were too big. I could only see their butts, their shoes, and their backs. I could hear the priest talking in Latin and the choir singing in Latin, too. But I only spoke Espanol, not Latin. High Mass was long and boring, especially when we had to kneel. We knelt for so long my knees hurt and my mom wouldn’t let me stand up.

My dad told me the priest gave the same long sermon with the same boring story he told us last year, and the year before that. How come superman didn't fly to the tomb and roll the stone open? How come Wonder Woman or Super Girl didn't chase the Roman soldiers away? That would have been a better story that would've kept my attention. I was only 6 years old 70 years ago.

What if Moby Dick swam into a cave under the tomb and helped Jesus escape? That would've been a terrific story that I would’ve loved. Can you imagine listening to a priest read from the Bible about how Moby Dick swam into a tunnel in the ocean and smashed through the floor under the tomb? Wouldn’t it be cool if he swallowed Jesus alive and helped him escape to an island? And when Mary Magdalen came to find him he was gone. I saw the Moby Dick movie at the drive-in theater with my parents when I was 6 years old. That was an exciting movie.

Resurrection is not miraculous to little kids. We watched cartoon people and animals get killed and then resurrect every Saturday morning. Listening to a priest go on and on and on telling the same boring story every Easter about Jesus coming back to life is not interesting.

I was only 6 years old and bored. I still think if Moby Dick busted Jesus out of the tomb it would have been a far more interesting Easter story.