Alone In the Mall

 by Mushroom Montoya

 

The light in my eyes drips out

As I put one foot in front of the other.

My ears cringe from the sound of

Too happy voices basket balling

against the shopping mall walls,

Along with their tippy-tappy thunking

Of new shoes slapping

The shopping mall floor.

They carry their packages,

These throngs of people stampeding

Unaware that their grins are impeding

And biting the heels of my broken heart.

 

Their bodies swarm around me.

They brush against me

With their cruel laughter and

Haunting grins.

 

Their words collide

With my world that’s died

Deep Inside Of me.

I want to go home.

 

But first I must roam

In this damn shopping mall

Looking for a Christmas present

For my spouse who is usually so pleasant.

 

I can’t find my wand

That magically turns back time.

Back to before, long before

Our son had died.

 

The light in my eyes drips out

As I put one foot in front of the other

My ears cringe from the sound of

Too happy voices laughing together.

 

While I cry inside,

Wanting to hide,

Feeling so very much alone
in this overcrowded mall.

 

 

Our son, Jeremy was hit on his motorcycle on the 17th of October 1992. That Christmas I walked the malls trying to find Xmas gifts for my spouse, Denise. The malls were packed with happy people, and I felt so alone.