GRITS?

                                      

How can anyone expect me to like a food called grits? I looked up, grit, in my American Heritage Dictionary. It doesn’t sound even remotely edible. Grit is “minute rough granules, as of sand or stone.” What would possess me to even consider putting that in my mouth and then actually swallowing it? I have no gizzards. I’m not a fowl thing.

If I put grit in my mouth, it would tear up my intestines and, Heaven Forbid! I don’t even want to think of what it would feel like coming out the bottom end. Oh Lord, help us! 

I read down further in the dictionary: “The texture or structure of stone to be used in grinding.” Hell No! I’m not going to eat anything that is going to grind my innards. That’s just crazy!

Why do people eat that stuff? I continued my search. Maybe, just maybe, there is something else in the dictionary.  Grit is also a verb. I can’t eat verbs. Herbs, yes. Verbs, no. I checked again. To grit is to clamp (the teeth) together. Yup! That’s right. I’m going to clamp my teeth together if any one tries to make me eat grits.

I almost put the dictionary away when I saw the plural of grit, grits. Coarsely ground grains, especially corn. I suppose that if you don’t have sand, you can use coarsely ground corn to grind something down. Maybe it can be used in place of sand in a sand-blaster when you don’t want to be too rough on the surface.

I’m even more puzzled than I was before. Why would anyone want to eat grits? It must be a Southern thing, like eating that poisonous plant, Polk Salad.