Viet Nam Meditation

"Hey Man, are you meditating? Wow, that is cool, man. I've never seen anyone meditating before. Wow."

We were on our way back to replenishment station; on our way back to take on

more arms,

more bombs,

more destruction

to throw at the Vietnamese.

Daily, I would find a place, a secluded place, where I could escape the cruelty, the ever present, oppressive weight of killing.

1972 is

only a thought away,

only a glance away,

only a sting away from today.

Viet Nam beckons me to return. "I forgive you. I will help you forgive yourself," she whispers.
"Come, I await your return to how you should have come in the first place.
Come, I have forgiven you." I hear her call.

For now, I feel the sting, I look for a secluded place, away from the memories

of the bombs,

of the killing,

of the cries.

Ave Maria plays on my headphones, pulling out the splinter of Viet Nam from my heart.

Tears well.

Throat tightens.

I sit. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.

I ponder, I wonder, Will the ghost of Viet Nam, release me before I return. No?

"I forgive you. I will help you forgive yourself.", she whispers.
"Come, I await your return, to how you should have come in the first place.
Come, I have forgiven you." I hear her call.

Flag over the US Capitol 18 December 2009

Today, I received a gift. It came in the form of a flag and a certificate. Denise had contacted Senator Dianne Feinstein requesting the flag that would hang over the capitol on Jeremy's 40th Birthday, 18 December 2009. The flag came from the Architect of the Capitol.

When I opened the box from the U.S. Senate, its contents brought tears from my eyes. I am grateful for our son, Jeremy. I am grateful for the gifts he brought into this life and for the gifts that he left behind.

One of his kidneys lasted 17 years. That is amazing. Denise and I were conflicted with our emotions when we found out. We were amazed that it lasted 17 years and we were disappointed that its time was done. It is a little sting of death and its associated grief that cruelly reminded us that Jeremy is dead. I miss him, terribly.

Xmas Letter 2009

Moving Boxes

Or Xmas Presents

Take your pick of either boxes, we have plenty of each.
Mary & Raymond, Do you remember these xmas presents from 2004? We should get together again for another humongus xmas party. You two were stinkers for leaving all 8 kids with us, while you guys relaxed in a hotel. But hey, it was so much fun to reunite with all of the nieces (7) and nephew (1).

We’ve moved from The Great North WET (Washington) to Sunny California with lots and lots of boxes!

Our new contact info. is: 7114 El Paseo St., Long Beach, CA 90815, ph. 562-596-2280.

Celeste got the drive of her life as she drove a 26 foot diesel Penske moving truck along highway 99 near Fresno. She was helping her dad drive one of 3 loads of furniture from Kent, Washington to Long Beach, Sunny California.

Celeste is working fulltime at JC Penney, and they love her! She enjoyed going to the beach this summer and is getting to know cousins again. She’s bee a vigilant caregiver to her Grandma, when both parents are out of the house!

Great Grandma Eda Bea has reconnected to many friends, and retired, after 18 yrs., with the Long Beach Fire Ambassadors. She was recognized by the City Council for her many years of service and received a certificate from the Mayor.

Mushroom has reconnected with family and old friends. He continues to conduct his shamanism healing practice. Mushroom volunteers at the VA, where he works in the Hospice Unit.

Mushroom took Denise to Avalon on Catalina Island for their 35^th anniversary this summer!

Denise is putting forth effort to allow the universe to express her skills in the workforce. Until she becomes employed, she’s learning how to manage 3 rental properties in 2 states and is helping all of the above family members to make Great Grandma’s house a home. She took Mushroom for a weekend getaway in Carlsbad, CA, while brother Cass filled in at home caring for Eda Bea.

Bonnie and Jiho moved to Los Angeles where Bonnie is working and Jiho is going to school to learn acupuncture. They came over to help decorate the house for xmas.

Gifts

Our greatest gifts this year have been:

* The going-away parties given by coworkers and friends!

* The visits by faraway friends, who didn’t want to let us leave in the first place!

* The welcoming we received from our Southern CA families & friends, who helped us to move in and had us over for dinner.

We wish for you Happy Holidays and a love-filled New Year.

Denise & Mushroom & Celeste & Eda Bea & Sugar & Ginger

After Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a holiday in which families can take the opportunity to get together to express their gratitude.
Gratitude reawakens our awareness of just how good it is to be alive. All of our life experiences have brought us gifts for which we should give thanks. Granted, some of our life experiences have been bitter and painful. Yet, they, too, have contributed to making us who we are. They have contributed by tempering us with wisdom. They stretch the boundaries of our experience which, then allows us to feel joy and laughter far deeper, maybe even deep enough to awaken our awareness of how closely we are connected to everyone and everything around us.
I am grateful, on this Autumn day, to be alive and aware of just how lucky I am.
I am grateful for the opportunities I am given to be a blessing to all those whom I meet.


The weekend after Thanksgiving, Brett & Jessica brought Baby Olivia to visit her Great Grandmother, Eda Bea, and her Great Aunt, Denise and her Great Uncle Mushroom. She had a great time on her walk to El Dorado Park, where her dad used to play when he was little. Oh wait, Brett was never little. ;-)
Isis took the reins to get Sugar to the park.

Eda Bea was recovering from hand surgery when we all went to the park.

Eda Bea's great grand daughter, Olivia took a nap in the park.

While Tigerboy climbed the tree, sort of.

Jiho, Bonnie, Jessica and Brett enjoyed playing show and tell with their kids.

Brett asks, "Is Uncle Mushroom really a hobbit?"

Bonnie shots a photo while Mushroom shoots her.

Eda leads us all home

Brett, Olivia and Great Grandma Eda Bea rest after going to the park.

Isis was happy washing her hands before dinner. Playing in the water is
F U N ! ! !Dipping cookies in milk is fun and healthy, isn't it!

See mom, now I am being good, can I have my cookie now?

Our 2009 "Red Chili" Xmas tree, wheeeee!!!

Xmas Lighting at El Paseo

Beauty Abounds

Beauty abounds. Just take a look.
I mean really look. Beauty abounds around you.
Under foot, over head, side to side.
Awe. Such splendor is gifted upon us. Beauty abounds.
Look. The fairy hides, hidden in his wooden cloak.
He brings us awareness of the beauty all around.
"Look!" He shouts into our minds.
"Down here!
Deprive thyself not of the wondrous glory.
Your awareness I have beckoned.
Take heed.
Beauty abounds all around you."

I Am Aware Of My Existence.

I am aware of my existence.
My fingers touch my skin
and they become aware of what they are touching
and what is touching them.
I am aware of my existence. My existence is aware of me.
I step forward.
The air caresses my skin with soft kisses that awaken more of my skin and the muscles underneath.
I twirl on my foot and the dance begins.
My arms caress the muse that has entered my chamber.
Music wells up from within.
Joy enters the dance, kissing my lips as they gift a smile.
I am aware of my existence and my existence dances its awareness of me.

Denise & Mushroom go to Carlsbad

The beach was warm and inviting. It soothed my tired bones.

Denise just can't resist playing in the sand.

I looked down and to my amazement, the sand took on a life of its own as the mermaid shampoo receded.

Mother Nature loves to play in the sand too.

After we found a place to park we found this beautiful tree that had bright yellow mushrooms.

Edan loves spending time with Grandma

There is such a loving bond between Edan and Grandma. Edan just adores her.
Me too.

Isis Comes to Play

Omah and daughter, pretty in pink.

Tigerboy decided to give his little sister a kiss.

Tigerboy was so gentle with his little sister.

Blowing your nose can be so much fun!

Jiho is playing with Sugar. That furry ball is a dog.

Poor little Isis wore herself out. Daddy cradles her on his shoulder, as only a daddy can.

Isis was so tired that not even Bonnie's laughter could wake her.