Grief Plays CDs

December 18 is our oldest son's birthday.

Jeremy died in 1992

at the young age of 22.

His absence sits with my grief,

in their car, playing CDs

Of my now foggy memories.

The bastards leave their car window open

So that my heart can hear.

They keep it turned loud enough

To reach my ears,

And low enough

To hear me cry.

That is why
They wait to slither

Out of their car

And wrap their arms around me.

They do not come to comfort me.

They can't.

They come to drink my tears,

And whisper, "Jeremy is dead."

Their words bang and bang inside my head.

Making more tears flow,

More tears that they can drink

More tears that make me think

And make me wish that I would

Bring him back if I could.

And then I hear his voice
Deep inside me
Sewing my heart's rips and tears
One stitch at a time.
"I did what I needed to do, Dad.
You loved me and I needed that.
You made me laugh
You made me cry
You taught me so much

With your example.
I watched and copied you

Especially those things that I knew
Would help me be
What I wanted to be,

You encouraged me

To be my best
You showed me how to share

From the heart.
And I gave my heart,
I gave liver and kidneys too
Not even my death
With my lifeless body

Could stop me from saving a life or two

Or three or four

And maybe more..
I'm sorry that my death make your heart hurt.

And from your eyes sad tears squirt.
Don’t forget 

That I never neglect
To visit you 

Whenever you 

Cry for me.
I love you, Dad.
Here is a cyber hug for you from me:
((((((Dad))))))