Helping Spirit
Dirty Dog Dietrich
leaned against the tailgate of his recently waxed black Toyota pickup truck. He
chewed on a toothpick that he held with his calloused fingers of his right hand
while staring intently at me as warm vapor came out of his mouth. He shivered
in the cool dawn. “I ain’t saying this to be mean,” he said. “But I don’t know
if I like the idea of my big sister being married to a short scrawny…” He
pursed his lips, squinted and turned his head skyward. I waited, knowing that
the words that he preferred would bubble up to his tongue and dive off soon
enough. He spat the toothpick on the ground. “It don’t seem proper for my
sister to be married a short scrawny Chinaman.”
“You know that
I’m not Chinese,” I said as I rolled my eyes and let my shoulders drop.
His teeth glistened
in the sunshine as his lips parted into a smile. “I know,” he said. “I just
like seeing your face squish itself into exasperation. It makes me feel like
I’ve accomplished something worthwhile today.”
I shook my head,
walked over to my chocolate colored 750 Honda motorcycle and sat on it, while I
put my helmet on. I pulled my gloves out of my pocket and stared at Dirty Dog.
As my fingers wiggled their way into my gloves, I yelled, “Get in your truck
and follow me to Crystal Cove. I want to get on the freeway before traffic gets
heavy.”
He nodded, shut
his tailgate and got into his truck. I drove south on the 405 freeway, keeping
an eye on my rearview mirror to make sure that he was behind me. My bike’s
faring diverted the cold morning air around and behind me. The Lord of the Dawn
kept busy erasing the bright orange and yellow clouds, leaving a brilliant blue
sky with white puffy clouds in their place.
I moved out of the fast lane to the far right lane and took Highway 73
heading southeast. I looked in my rearview mirror and watched Dirty Dog’s black
truck zoom across 4 lanes of traffic. I exited the freeway at the MacArthur
Blvd exit and headed toward the coast. Dirty Dog drove up next to me on the
right when I stopped at the traffic light on Bison Ave.
“You shoulda had
a brighter blinker on your bike,” he yelled from his truck. “I didn’t see you
turn off the 405 until it were almost too late. You shoulda seen that woman’s
eyes when I cut in front of her.” He laughed and hit his steering wheel with his
hands. “I bet she peed in her panties.”
I didn’t want to
encourage his bad behavior by responding. “I’ll be turning left on PCH, that’s
Pacific Coast Highway,” I said.
“I know. I ain’t
stupid.” He took a drink from a white and green Starbucks cup. I’d like to
assume that he was drinking coffee, but with Dirty Dog, it was unwise to assume
anything. Just as the light turned green he yelled out, “Hey, I gotta find a
bathroom. I gotta take a piss.” He took
off before I could say anything. I caught up to him and pointed up ahead. He
followed me to PCH. The green light allowed us to proceed onto PCH down to
Corona Del Mar. I pulled off the highway at Starbucks. He drove into the
parking lot and ran into the Starbucks. I parked my bike and walked in. I saw the
bathroom door open. Dirty Dog rushed in almost knocking over the old man coming
out.
I got in line
behind three people and scanned the menu. Dirty Dog walked up behind me by the
time it was my turn, “Order me a plain coffee.” He pointed to the middle of the
three tall metal coffee dispensers behind the cashier. “Get me that one, the
Pike’s Place,” he said. “I don’t need none of your sissy latte’s an shit.” I
placed an order for a Pike’s Place and a caramel macchiato latte.
I paid the
cashier and then she handed Dirty Dog his coffee. We walked to the end of the
counter and waited for my latte. Dirty Dog’s bottom lip pouted out. “Ya know,
I’ve never done shit like what we’re gonna do. It sounds, well, kinda spooky. I
ain’t saying I’m afraid. It’s just weird.”
“Do you want to
continue having those weird feelings like you’re possessed?”
“Hell no.” He
looked down and shuffled his left foot. “What if people see us? What are they
gonna think?”
I put my hand on
his shoulder, “You never care what anyone thinks,” I said.
“Yeah, but lying
on the sand with all my clothes on and having you beating your drum over me is
gonna look weird.”
The barista
called out my name. I picked up my latte and sat down in a soft chair by the
window. Dirty Dog sat in the adjacent chair. “I’ll create an energy field
around us,” I said. “No one will come and ask us what we’re doing.”
Dirty Dog took a
sip of his coffee and stared out the window. He turned to me, leaned forward
and whispered, “What if I really am possessed and you can’t get rid of it? Am I
gonna be screwed for the rest of my life?”
“You’re getting
way ahead of yourself. I haven’t determined if you’re possessed or just off
your rocker.”
He gave me a
light punch to the arm. “Hurry and finish your damn sissy latte and let’s get
this over with.” He gulped the last bit of coffee and stood up. “You shoulda
come in my truck so you could finish drinking while I drive.” He turned and
walked to the door. He held it open and yelled back to me, “Get you lazy ass
off the chair and let’s go!”
We drove to
Crystal Cove and parked our vehicles. Dirty Dog got out of his truck and stood
with his knees together, scanning the surroundings. “Damn it, I gotta go piss
again.” We walked to the restroom and then back to our vehicles. Dirty Dog
climbed into the bed of his truck, opened the steel storage box and pulled out
a blanket and two towels. He closed the lid sat cross legged on the storage box
staring at the ocean. A young Asian woman with long black hair walked up from
the beach carrying a green flower print beach bag. She opened her car’s trunk
and tossed her beach bag into it. Dirty Dog watched her. When she came around
to the driver’s side of her car, she smiled at him and remarked, “Isn’t that a
beautiful view of the ocean?”
Dirty Dog smiled
and nodded. He turned to me and whispered, “Not as beautiful as my truck.” He
climbed down from truck’s bed with the blanket and towels under one arm. We
walked down the bluff to the beach. At 7:00 AM we were nearly the only people
on the beach. Off in the distance I saw two people running. I asked Dirty Dog
to spread the blanket down next to the wet sand. “What if a wave gets us wet?”
he asked as I removed my backpack and pulled out my drum.
“It’ll give you
the bath that you need.”
He flipped me
off and put the blanket down.
I put my
backpack and drum on a corner of the blanket. “Take off your shoes,” I said. I
got down on my knees and pulled a lighter and a small bundle of sage out of my
backpack. I flick the lighter and put the flame under an edge of the sage. I
blew out the small flame. “Thank you Sage Spirit,” I said. I wafted the smoke
around Dirty Dog saying, “Sage Spirit please remove all fear and doubt and help
Dirty Dog to be open and receptive for a healing.” After I had walked all
around him, I put the sage bundle on the sand to let the embers burn out.
“Go stand in the
water until I tell you to come back,” I said as I removed my shoes and stood on
the sand facing east. Dirty Dog removed his shoes and placed them on a corner
of the blanket. He bent down and the waist and rolled up his Levis. He looked
up and down the beach before he walked and stood at the water’s edge. He had
his back to me. He stared out at the ocean. I lifted my drum and closed my
eyes. I breathed in the salt air and pulled energy into my body through my bare
feet. I opened my eyes. I beat the drum slowly and gently. “Welcome Spirits of
the east. Welcome to our day and to our awareness. Air spirit, bringer of the
first breath and every breath of the day, welcome,”
Dirty Dog
grabbed my forearm, preventing me from striking the drum. “Ya know, I was
thinking that ya never really liked me much; and that ya might wanna let an
evil spirit destroy me from the inside out.”
I lowered my
drum and stared into Dirty Dog’s eyes. His tiny pupils were trying to hide in
his greenish blue irises. I lifted my chin and pointed it toward the water.
“Breathe with the rhythm of the ocean,” I said and relaxed the tension in my
arm. “There is nothing to fear here.”
“I know. I
know,” he said. “I ain’t really afraid. Yer weird spirit stuff makes my stomach
feels like grunion are flopping around in there. And besides, the water is
making my feet cold.” He let go of my forearm and walked back to the water’s
edge.
“I’m creating
the energy field,” I said. “Face the ocean and breathe.” I waited until his
feet were back in the water before I continued. I turned to the east and beat
my drum rhythmically. “Air Spirit, thank you for your gifts. Come and surround
us with protection.” I turned to the South, looking in Dirty Dog’s direction.
He turned his head to look over his shoulder at me and gave me a thumbs up. I
protruded my chin toward the ocean. He turned his head forward.
“Spirits of the
south, spirits of all our relations, animal spirits, plant spirits and mineral
spirits, thank you for your gifts. Please come and help us.” I turned to the
west. “Water spirit and water creature spirits, thank you for your gifts.
Please come and help us to be flexible in mind body and spirit.”
“Hey!” Dirty Dog
yelled. “The water’s over here, where I’m standing in the south.”
I softened my
drumming and turned my head to Dirty Dog. “I know. The water spirit’s home is
in the west.”
“Oh. OK then.”
“Let me finish
creating the energy field.” I turned to the north. “Fire Spirit and mountain
spirits, thank you for your gifts. Please come and fill us with power and
energy.” I turn to the south and ask Dirty Dog to come and lie down on the
blanked with his head facing the ocean.
“Lookie here at
my pants. They’re wet. That last wave got ‘em wet when you asked the water
spirit to make us more flexible. What’s it doing? Trying my grease my joints
with salt water?” He unrolled his pant legs and sat down on the blanket.
I gave him a
toothy grin. “Yes, the Water Spirit is greasing your joints with salt water.
You are mostly salt water. You know that, right?”
He slapped his
thigh and laughed. “I shouldda known that. That’s pretty damn smart.” He lay
down. “You’re joshing me, ain’t ya?”
I lay next to
Dirty Dog. “I just want you to relax and enjoy the salt air. I’m going to find
your power animal, your helping spirit, and bring it back to you.”
“Ya better not
bring me back any spiders. I hate spiders.”
“We’ve gone over
this before,” I said. “Your helping spirit will take on an animal form that is
geared to your life somehow. I don’t know what form it will take. But, if it
makes you feel better, I won’t bring you a spider.”
He turned his
head to face me. His eyes sparkled. “You can bring me a scorpion. I like to
sting people so they don’t ever forget.”
“I’m not going
to bring you a scorpion either.”
“Awk. Coward!”
He closed his eyes. “If I could get one that was trainable, I’d have one as a
pet. I’d train it to bite people I don’t like much.” He opened his eyes and
looked at me. “Like little scrawny Asian dudes.”
I rolled my eyes
and resumed beating the drum. I stopped after a few minutes and got up on my
knees facing Dirty Dog. “I’m going to blow your power animal into your chest
and then into the top of your head.”
He held out his
hand to stop me. “You ain’t putting nothing in my until you tell me what it is
first. I don’t want no spiders.”
“It’s not a
spider. I told you I wouldn’t do that. It’s a slug.”
He sat up. “I
don’t want to slimy slug. What the hell kind of power animal is that?”
“Really?” I
shook my head. “I didn’t bring you a slug. I’m just kidding.” I hadn’t realized
how tense I had become when he interrupted me with his worries about spiders. I
let my shoulders relax. “Your helping spirit presented itself as a moose. And
this moose is mighty and big.”
Dirty Dog
grinned and nodded his head. “Yup. Moose are big. I think I like that. They’re
big enough to stomp on your puny little head.”
I bent down and
blew the moose into his chest and then I asked him to sit up. As I blew the
moose into the top of his head he shivered. When I finished he shouted, “Holy
shit! That’s one big moose!” His eyes were a big as moose’s eyes. I blinked and
they returned to normal. “How did you do that?” he asked.
“I’m going to
tell you my shamanic journey to find your power animal in the present tense as
if it is happening right now.”
He narrowed his
eyes. “I ain’t illiterate. I know what present tense is. Remember, I made it to
the tenth grade in high school, smarty pants.”
I closed my eyes
hoping that he wouldn’t interrupt me. “I am drumming. I call my own power
animal. She comes and stands next me. ‘Please take me to find a power animal
for Dirty Dog. She takes my hand and lifts me out of my body. We walk into the
ocean and swim underwater until we find a cave. We swim into the cave. It is
lit with crystals imbedded in the cave walls and ceiling. A seal swims in front
of us. We follow it as it swims into a deep and narrow hole. We go down. I see
a light and we swim toward it. I find myself at a beach with the sun shining.
My power animal and I walk out of the water and onto the beach. I call out, ‘I
am looking for a power spirit for Dirty Dog.’ We walk into a forest that is
along the shore. I hear rustling in the underbrush. I see a wild boar come
toward us? ‘Are you Dirty Dogs’ power animal?’ It waddles by, ignoring my
question. We continue walking in the forest. I feel a huge hoof land next to my
left foot. I turn and see a brown furry leg that is taller than I am. I look up
and see two enormous moose antlers and remind me of radar disks. They are at
least ten feel above me. ‘Are you Dirty Dog’s power animal?” I ask. The moose
walks around me and and turns showing me all four of its sides. It stands on
its hind legs. My power animal tells me to hold my hands out together. The
moose places his front hooves on my hands. Together they are about five feet
wide. The moose shrinks and as it becomes half my size it jumps onto my hands
with its back legs. He shrinks to the size of a mouse. I hold him close to my
chest and we go back into the water and we swim back the same way we came. We
walk onto the beach and I lay back into my body, still holding the Spirit
Moose.”
“That’s a mighty
nice story,” Dirty Dog said. “When you blew into my head, I saw the beast.
Well, not really saw. It was more like I felt him. Like he was standing under.
No, Like I was sorta sitting on him. But that ain’t quite right either. It’s
hard to explain. But he is a big mutha.” His eyes looked out over the ocean.
“What’s you gonna do now?”
“I’m going to
ask your Spirit Moose to help me find out if you need an exorcism or some other
healing.”
“Yeah! I bet my
moose could stomp the bird turd shit outta any demon that’s inside of me.”
I asked Dirty
Dog to lay back down and to imagine that he could breathe under water. “Go and
find that underwater cave and look for your moose. When you find him you can
ask him how he prefers that you call on him when you need him.”
“What’s his
name?” he asked.
“You can ask him
when you see him. Lie down. I’m going to beat my drum and go talk to your power
animal.”
“You’re gonna
talk to my moose? I’ll race ya to see who gets to him first. If I beat ya,
you’ll have to wait your turn.”
I shook my head.
“This is not a race. Close your eyes.” I drummed, left my body and went back
into the ocean.”
